I take public transportation going to work. It takes me 1.5 hours to reach Makati in the morning. That's a 30-minute jeepney ride, then an hour FX taxi ride to Ayala Ave.
This is usually the most unpleasant part of my day. The jeepney passes through the most dusty roads in Manila. And for some strange reason, jeepney drivers go berserk at a certain street in my route, all hell breaks loose. Now the FX taxi ride is more unpredictable, the comfort of your ride depends on how well the airconditioning works and which seat you get. I just think it's so cruel to fit 4 people in one row in a van (especially if there's an alpha-male wannabe who spreads his legs as if his balls are the size of melons). My only comfort is having my Iphone and shutting off the rest of the world till I reach Makati.
About 2 months ago, respite came in the form of a 6-foot tall hunky, friendly guy. I was seated at the back row of a van, and he was on the other side facing my direction.
I was mesmerized. I was stealing glances of him most of the ride, and he would catch me each time ;) but he would just smile back.
For about 2 weeks, I'd see him in the terminal waiting in line, we would ride the same van at times (though on different rows). I continued to steal glances, and still get caught. Until one morning, we were seated at the back of an FX taxi, just the two of us, one on each side. I do my usual glance and smile, and he would still smile back. I said to myself "this is my chance." So I mustered all the courage I had, typed a message in my Iphone and showed it to him. He smiles back again, raises his thumb, and hands me back my phone.
Ay shit, straight pala, wehehe. (friendly lang si kuya ;) )
Every Sunday noon after going to church, my older brother's family would go to our house to have lunch (I live with my mom and younger brother). It is our opportunity to catch up with what's going on with each other's lives. I also get to see my hyper-active, maldita niece (nagmana sa tita, wehehe).
After lunch, most of us would either watch the noontime variety shows or movies on DVD. My younger brother would usually continue playing with RPGs on his PC. This is lazy time with the family, we would just do whatever pops into mind, no planned activities whatsoever.
Just a few Sundays ago, my older brother bought some peach mango pie from Jollibee, which comes with a free newspaper. So aside from the TV and movie, we were also busy reading and passing around the newspaper.
A few days before that, I remember a friend retweeting Adel Tamano's post that he was coming out with an article on homophobia. I thought it would be an interesting read, so I was browsing through the different sections of the papers looking for Adel's column (syempre, pasimple pa, kasi baka mabasa ng la familia yung title ng article).
So I finally found Adel's article and was casually reading it (kahit napapangiti ako sa 1st paragraph nung article). And then my kuya suddenly stands up and passes by my side looking at what I was reading, and then he blurts out "O bakit mo yan binabasa? Baka ma-offend ka." ("Why are you reading that? You might get offended).
All gay men have a coming out story. For some, it is a joyful occasion. For others, a drama-filled and traumatic experience. But no matter which route you went through, the feeling of victory and freedom is shared.
But we all know that coming out is only the beginning. The struggles we had while staying in the closet is initially replaced by the struggles of adjusting to your new identity as an openly gay man. This is especially true for people who have done "selective coming out". One of these struggles is what I call "being pushed back into the closet."
I first experienced this April last year. I was on holiday in California with a girl friend who I recently came out to. We were meeting former officemates from the Philippines, most of whom I haven't seen for 3 years. It was our second day there, we spent the whole day going around Monterey. It was a tiring yet fun day. We came back to our friends' house early evening to freshen up before hitting the San Francisco club scene. We were in the guest room changing clothes when my girl friend suddenly told me (in an irritated tone)
"Baklang-bakla ka naman." (You've been acting so gay).
I was caught off-guard so I ended up getting defensive.
"E bakla naman talaga ako e." (I'm acting gay cause I AM GAY) "I am a grown man, I can take care of myself."
That time, I wasn't sure if she was concerned that I was outing myself to people who can't handle it, or was she just embarrassed of me. I immediately left the room in order to avoid further confrontation. Instead, I just tweeted my anger and upset feelings. I resented so much what my friend said. Because of this and other things she did during the trip, we didn't speak to each other for 2 months.
It all started innocently, I was having merienda with my co-managers at work, then 2 of my bosses decided to share our table.
Small talk, small talk, yada yada yada.
Topic suddenly shifts to co-manager and why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Oh, I love this kind of conversations, I love roasting people, one question after another, don't let the roastee recover, hihihi.
"And how about you London Boy?" asks Boss #1.
Fuck!
"Ah, hmmm, aahhh...." (what the fuck!)
"Oh my, are you interested in another species?" asks Boss #2. (Translation: You like men?!?)
London Boy - smiling, blushing (damn London! I was incapable of blushing when I left Manila 2 years ago!)
"I don't need someone permanent in my life."
"What???" - Boss #1 and 2 and co-manager.
"No plans of getting married? How about kids? Marriage is such a blessing" - Boss #1
"I have a niece, boss. And I can get a different blessing each week. Why settle for one?"
Auditors are known for working long crazy hours especially during the dreaded busy season (12-15 hours a day). For the benefit of non-accountants, busy season is from January to April 15 (the BIR's deadline for filing of tax returns) of each year.
Now you ask, why would a sane person sign up to something like this? Well, people in Finance acknowledge that an audit firm is the best training ground if you want to move forward in this field. Being in audit gives you many opportunities: technical training and continuing education, quick career progression, competitive compensation and development of your social skills.
Along with the opportunities, this profession also brings some downside: lack of sleep (leading to lack of beauty ;) ), stress, missing important life events, inability to plan vacations.
Another thing I dread about this job is resignation season as about 30-40% of our employees resign on an annual basis. It was most difficult a few years ago when all but 1 of my batchmates resigned from the firm. It was depressing even for a very cheerful guy like me.
This year, resignation season culminated on June 1, the deadline for submission of resignation letters. After 7.5 years in this job, this day doesn't pass by without me being emotional. The realization that in 30 days, people you consider dear friends won't be around anymore makes me really, really sad. Sometimes, I wish I could stretch the time so I can spend more time with them. Sometimes, I wish time was on fast-forward so that all of this would be over and done with.
Resignation season was the first blow. June 1 also marked the end of summer. The realization that summer has passed by without me being able to take a proper vacation pisses me off big time. I also had 2 summer projects in mind, now both unfulfilled. My unhappiness grows every single day that I am unable to take my well-deserved vacation. And this is breaking my spirit. I've been an asshole to friends and family, I've been whining so much and have become a burden to be with. I've been having dizzy spells and severe headaches all week.
"Puts the Glory into Gloria and the Gay into Gaynor.”
Michael Coveney - The Independent
I love musicals.
During my two-year stint in London, the West End was my playground. It was a fabulous piece of gay heaven. I only watched one non-musical, but Josh Hartnett's half naked body (about 2 meters away from where I was seated) was more than enough to compensate for the lack of songs.
Out of all the musicals I've seen, there is only one that I watched 4 times, it's the gayest musical in the West End, "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert". (the stage version of the camp classic movie "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert")
With songs such as "Downtown, I've Never Been To Me, Venus, Go West, I Say a Little Prayer, and I Will Survive", how gayer can it get? See this for the complete list of musical numbers.
I first watched the show with a gay friend I met in London, I can still remember how ecstatic I felt after, I exclaimed "Ang sarap maging bakla". The musical was set in the mid-90s, a time when homosexuality was not as socially acceptable as it is now, so it was empowering to see 3 drag queens motoring their way throughout Australia (from Sydney to Alice Springs), facing discrimination, racism and bigotry, and overcoming them. I distinctly remember what Bernadette said to Tick and Felicia after seeing their vandalized bus: "Never apologize for our choices my friends." (I later found out that this line was updated to reflect current sentiments, the line used to be "Never forget the cost of our choices my friends", good thing the creators decided to do this as the original line would have been too depressing)
Another reason (well, the bigger reason =) ) why I watched the show over and over was the actor who played Felicia, Oliver Thornton. Felicia Jollygoodfellow is the most flambouyant one out of the 3 drag queens, and the hottest one as well (Guy Pearce, another hottie, played the part in the film). See for yourselves.
Too bad I can't find a photo of him doing the "Hot Stuff" number where he was just wearing a red thong ;)
On my 4th time, I was finally able to see him up-close at the stage door, kilig!
Here are my favorite scenes in the musical:
Felicia singing an aria on top of Priscilla
"MacArthur's Park" with the human cupcakes
"Go West"
"I Will Survive"
"I Love the Nightlife" with Jason Donovan (right) wearing the Oscar award winning "flip-flop" costume
The funniest funeral scene ever ("Don't Leave Me This Way")
Where can you find a disco ball inside a theater? Yup, Priscilla has one!
And this is the fabulous shirt I bought from the gift shop, can't wait to wear it!
So to every gay guy out there who's visiting London, don't forget to watch and enjoy Priscilla! - "Colour your world!"
You'll never see a dark cloud hanging round me. Now there is only blue skies to surround me. There's never been a gray day since you found me. Everything I touch is turning to gold. Oh, you can colour my world with sunshine yellow each day! Oh, you can colour my world with happiness all the way! Just take the green from the grass and the blue from the sky up above! And if you colour my world just paint it with your love! Just colour my world. Just as long as I know you're thinking of me, there'll be a rainbow always up above me. Since I found the one who really loves me, everything I touch is turning to gold. So you can colour my world with sunshine yellow each day! Oh, you can colour my world with happiness all the way! Just take the green from the grass and the blue from the sky up above! And if you colour my world just paint it with your love! Just colour my world. Um. Sunshine yellow. Orange blossums. Laughing faces everywhere! Yeah! Oh, you can colour my world with sunshine yellow each day! Oh, you can colour my world with happiness all the way! Just take the green from the grass and the blue from the sky up above! And if you colour my world just paint it with your love. Just colour my world. Colour my world. Oh, colour my world. Colour my world!
These are just two of the comments I get whenever I take potshots at them.
Don't get me wrong, I loved them, and both of them still hold a special place in my heart.
I don't have even one bit of bitterness towards both of them. I can never hate them because they've taught me so much.
I must admit though that one of them may misconstrue my remarks to be an attack on his person (I sent him an apology this morning). But I'm sure that the other one knows in his heart that I mean no harm and that I harbor no ill feelings towards him.
Thank you for being part of my life my dear power of two :)
I was 26 (still discreet) and was dating a guy for the first time (I met him through g4m, he turned out to be an office mate).
I was 26 when I almost had my first boyfriend.
I was 26 when I decided to accept the international assignment to London.
I was 26 and was living independently for the first time.
I was 26 and was finally secure about who I was (and so I thought).
Fast-forward to age 29, a few months after finally embracing my queerness, old feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and wanting social acceptance are resurfacing.
Yeah, I know I've been trying too hard at times. Forgive me.
I tried to be a "mean girl" to feel accepted. Sorry.
I'm not that girl.
I might fall for the same trap again, but I'll climb back out.
I will be true to my spirit.
I am what I am.
I am what I am. I am my own special creation. So, come take a look, give me the hook or the ovation. It's my world, that I want to take a little pride in. My world, and It's not a place I have to hide in. Life's not worth, a damn Till you can say, Hey world, I am what I am.
I am what I am I don't want praise, I don't want pity. I bang my own drum, something gets noise, I think It's pretty. And so what if I love each feather and each bangle. Why not try to see thing from a different angle Your life is a shame, til you can shout out loud, I am what I am.
I am what I am And what I am, needs no excuses. I deal my own deck, Sometimes the ace, sometimes the duces. There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit. One life, so It's time to open up your closet.
Life's not worth a damn till you can say. Hey world, I am What I am.
1. Urinalysis 2. Ultra-sound 3. CT Scan 4. X-ray of the spine
the doctor finally gave me a clean bill of health.
Sorry if I was whining in twitter about it, I was really scared. At first they thought it was kidney stones, then an enlarged prostate, then an injury to the spine.
In fairness to me, this was the first time I was subjected to this many tests in diagnosing just one illness. But I've learned a valuable lesson, don't stress too much until you've actually found out that something is wrong.
And so the doctor's final conclusion was: it's stress-related and I need some exercise. Great!!!
On August 1, 2009, London Boy ceased to be a Pride virgin.
I've always been very curious about the annual Pride march in Manila. Every year, I see the hot guys, drag queens and religious hypocrites in the news, and wondered how it felt to be there.
During my last few months in London, I had a sudden change of heart and decided to enjoy the London gay lifestyle. So off I went to Soho, gay porn shops, gay porn theaters, watched gay plays, went to a bathhouse and the best part, I attended my first Pride parade.
If in Manila PLUs get harassed by religious hypocrites, in Brighton we are welcomed with open arms. The Pride parade is a family event, just look at the grandparents, moms and dads, and little kids. There is no need to justify your lifestyle, no need to be ashamed, no need to hide in your closet.
Grannies, Grandpas, Moms and Dads
Kids and Moms
The proud members of the Gay Police Association
A gay-friendly church ...
... with an interesting question to ask. "Would Jesus Discriminate?"
"The Oldest Gay in the Village"
A gay minister
Gay rights activists
OUR LESBIAN SISTERS THE QUEENS THE CUTIES I love sailors!
Vintage-look cute guy matching the Victorian windows
He was so cute, so I looked for him after the parade and had this picture taken ;)
AND MY FAVORITE PART, THE HOTTIES This guy looks Pinoy
I was mesmerized. I was stealing glances of him most of the ride, and he would catch me each time ;) but he would just smile back.
