Sunday, 4 April 2010

26 - 29

Turning 26 was sort of a milestone in my life.

I was 26 (still discreet) and was dating a guy for the first time (I met him through g4m, he turned out to be an office mate).

I was 26 when I almost had my first boyfriend.

I was 26 when I decided to accept the international assignment to London.

I was 26 and was living independently for the first time.

I was 26 and was finally secure about who I was (and so I thought).

Fast-forward to age 29, a few months after finally embracing my queerness, old feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and wanting social acceptance are resurfacing.

Yeah, I know I've been trying too hard at times. Forgive me.

I tried to be a "mean girl" to feel accepted. Sorry.

I'm not that girl.

I might fall for the same trap again, but I'll climb back out.

I will be true to my spirit.

I am what I am.

I am what I am.
I am my own special creation.
So, come take a look,
give me the hook
or the ovation.
It's my world, that I want to take a little pride in.
My world, and It's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth, a damn
Till you can say,
Hey world, I am what I am.

I am what I am
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum, something gets noise,
I think It's pretty.
And so what if I love each feather and each bangle.
Why not try to see thing from a different angle
Your life is a shame,
til you can shout out loud, I am what I am.

I am what I am
And what I am, needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck, Sometimes the ace, sometimes the duces.
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit.
One life, so It's time to open up your closet.

Life's not worth a damn till you can say.
Hey world, I am What I am.


Guyrony said...

You are a wonderful person just a little wee bit slutty.

Hahaha! No! You're not! Just flirty.

Thanks for always being a good company Mr. Crappy Auditor.

london boy said...


thanks friend!

M.T. said...

I can somehow relate. Really! Hope to get to know you more Mr Crappy! HAHA

JR said...

ang mga auditor talaga, kung ano anong drama ang alam haaayyyyy lol...nah, naka relate ako sa sinulat mo..keep writing! I will audit you...para makaganti haha

london boy said...

@MT thanks for following my blog!

@JR haha, eto ang epekto ng walang tulog, napapa-emote! sige, i-audit mo ko, padalhan mo na rin ako ng pamasahe papuntang california :)

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