Sunday, 4 April 2010

The Power of Two

"You're bitter!"

"Get over it!"

These are just two of the comments I get whenever I take potshots at them.

Don't get me wrong, I loved them, and both of them still hold a special place in my heart.

I don't have even one bit of bitterness towards both of them. I can never hate them because they've taught me so much.

I must admit though that one of them may misconstrue my remarks to be an attack on his person (I sent him an apology this morning). But I'm sure that the other one knows in his heart that I mean no harm and that I harbor no ill feelings towards him.

Thank you for being part of my life my dear power of two :)

26 - 29

Turning 26 was sort of a milestone in my life.

I was 26 (still discreet) and was dating a guy for the first time (I met him through g4m, he turned out to be an office mate).

I was 26 when I almost had my first boyfriend.

I was 26 when I decided to accept the international assignment to London.

I was 26 and was living independently for the first time.

I was 26 and was finally secure about who I was (and so I thought).

Fast-forward to age 29, a few months after finally embracing my queerness, old feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and wanting social acceptance are resurfacing.

Yeah, I know I've been trying too hard at times. Forgive me.

I tried to be a "mean girl" to feel accepted. Sorry.

I'm not that girl.

I might fall for the same trap again, but I'll climb back out.

I will be true to my spirit.

I am what I am.

I am what I am.
I am my own special creation.
So, come take a look,
give me the hook
or the ovation.
It's my world, that I want to take a little pride in.
My world, and It's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth, a damn
Till you can say,
Hey world, I am what I am.

I am what I am
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum, something gets noise,
I think It's pretty.
And so what if I love each feather and each bangle.
Why not try to see thing from a different angle
Your life is a shame,
til you can shout out loud, I am what I am.

I am what I am
And what I am, needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck, Sometimes the ace, sometimes the duces.
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit.
One life, so It's time to open up your closet.

Life's not worth a damn till you can say.
Hey world, I am What I am.
Copyright © This Crappy Auditor's Life. All rights reserved.
Blogger template created by Templates Block | Start My Salary
Designed by Santhosh